My word!

So. It's been a while.

First- the tummy issue turned into a flow-blown hardcore period of DOOM. And I'll feel better in roughly 3-5 days. So thank you for those concerned.

Second- What the HELL, man!? I go away to rearrange furniture and seriously deal with my home and I miss ALL THIS! You people are busy, busy, busy! Slow down, smell the roses, let me catch up!

Third- Oooo! I totally rearranged the front room! The flow is much better now, and, and, AND!!!! I have room for a love seat/chaise lounge(my fingers are crossed for the chaise. I'm asking for it for Christmas) on the side of the room opposite from the couch! We're also thinking about putting the computer upstairs in the bedroom. However, I do not know if I will have space for it upstairs, and I don't really want it there anyway. I *would* like a smaller desk though.

Fourth- Why I can't really picture myself as a polygamist(Warning: Backstory and history lesson approaching). I am nice here, and online, sure. But in the real world, I'm not so nice. I can't stand people. They annoy the shit out of me. Before I met my Husband, I was an even angrier mass of rage and loathing. I despised humans. They are despicable creatures, willing to turn on their fellow man at little provocation. To be around them drains away brain cells and leaves one feeling punch-drunk with foolishness. Then I met my beloved. He despises humans more than I do, cannot stand to be in public because the level of stupidity is suffocating, and meeting new people feels as good as having teeth pulled.

Yeah, it's safe to say we were in love the day we met. And I won't lie, when we were first together(especially that first year!), all the rage and aggression that was normally turned towards other people we turned towards each other. We fought, we screamed, we said horrible, horrible things to each other. A big reason for this was because we both moved out of our comfort/socializing zones into a place where we knew no one and had no places to go. We tried to find places, but this area was(and is!) crap. So we stayed inside, caught cabin fever, and raged against each other. Then I just got sick of it. I wasn't sick of it enough to leave him, but I wanted and needed change. So instead of screaming back, or pulling the silent treatment(sometimes for days!) I'd try to talk to him. This was not always successful. Sometimes it lead to arguements about the arguement and how we resolve issues. Eventually, I pulled my head out of my ass enough to see that I needed to talk to him about how we resolve issues when we *weren't* having an issue. Needless to say, this really started the ball rolling on communication. To make things a bit shorter, basically we discussed, over time, in great, glorious detail, how and why we reacted to the other and how we felt about the reactions, and what could we do to change this, etcetera. We got very, very specific about our emotions, and we talked about why we think we act this way, and gave history, and actually, ended up really getting to know one another very deeply.

We still hate people as a whole, though. Passionately. And we're happy as clams in our hatred and misery towards the world. Not so secretly, this misanthropy is because of all the terrible injustice in the world, and because of how HORRIBLE people can be towards one another. However, to admit to such things is hippie bullshit, and to push for loving one another is also. So, we'd rather just hate people, love animals(we want a menagerie!), and avoid public places to the best of our ability. Besides, for everyone to love everyone else would demean the meaning of love. The "shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out" philosophy, if you will. We still fight, and disagree, and snipe at each other, but it gets better all the time, and we actively try to work on our issues. Doing the best we can is all I can expect from either of us.

With this situation, I find it mathematically impossible(it was improbable I'd ever meet someone like my husband!) that we could ever find a third person to join us. Someone who was as spiky as we are in all the right ways. A woman who is cruel and unforgiving towards the human race but as sweet and adoring as we are to each other. (I never said we weren't dynamic :p) Someone who can tolerate the public at a museum or library, but would rather die than go to a sports stadium(unless it was to see a silly hair metal band. Spandex and big hair as faaaaaar as the eye can see....). I just don't see that happening.

All the Polygamists I've talked to have been lovely people. People I wouldn't mind as friends. But, to put it simply, they are all too nice. Nicer than most humans, which I appreciate, I really do. But, let's look at it this way

We'd be looking for a Polygamist, which cuts down on the population severely. Of the Polygamists, there are probably few aggressives like us. Of those few aggressives like us, even fewer would we get along with. And of those we'd get along with, who would we get along with well enough to consider as 'potentials' and of those potentials, who would we actually be able to marry?

That's got to be like, what? a 0.00000000000000000000000000001 chance? And if they're like us, they probably are disinclined to outwardly engage. With those odds, I may as well play the lottery.

And that is all IF there is someone out there for us. What if there isn't? What if we're just too assholish and mean? I mean, I don't like people. And because of this, I cannot picture a human out there that I could get along with as well as my husband. We get along perfectly, and he compliments me in most ways. We have so much in common, and I am so happy with him.

So happy, that sometimes I want with all my heart to add someone to us! What madness is this?